The Harvard Hooligans

The Harvard Hooligans are an impressive bunch who like to drink beer with attractive women and then have sex. Unfortunately, this never happens. We refuse to buy girly drinks like Mike’s Hard Lemonade, so the ladies refuse to sleep with us. It’s a vicious cycle. For an even more detailed description of the Hooligans, please read the profiles below

Harvard Hooligan is a senior who suffers from chronic senioritis. He writes, directs, and edits these powerful films. When he’s sober, he serves as president of HRTV and occasionally composes columns for the Denver Post.

Housewife Hooligan makes sure that everything in our studio is kept nice and clean. Housewife is very organized and meticulous. He does not like it when the other Hooligans sit on his bed or use his pens as tiger fangs. Formerly a heavyweight rower, Housewife now cooks a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Housewife can also get violent and testy at the slightest provocation. He likes to punch people.

Hillbilly Hooligan is a polite southern gentleman of a Christian disposition. He believes that all the other Hooligans will eventually end up in hell. Formerly a quarterback for the Harvard football team, he is now a thespian who stars in HRDC performances. In sharp contrast to the other Hooligans, the Hillbilly actually has acting skills. He is as handsome as Heath Ledger and as holy as Mel Gibson. On his spare time, the Hillbilly likes to toss a football, pluck his guitar strings, yodel, and look at porn.

Hunchback Hooligan is from Europe and looks like Quasimodo. Widely recognized as the ugliest of the Hooligans, Hunchback has no problems keeping the girls away. Because he is a foreigner, we Americans make fun of him. Hunchback likes expensive wines.

Hairy Hooligan has a lot of hair on his head and chest and rear. A member of both the Lampoon and Crimson, Hairy hoped to join the most prestigious and established student group on campus, so he COMPed the Hooligans. After being rejected four times after working really hard, he is now a member. We made him shave his hairy ass.

Honorary Harvard Hooligan 2007: Will Ferrell

The remarkable and large Will Ferrell became an Honorary Hooligan in 2007.