The Harvard Hooligans

Hooligan and Aneliese with body guard

I’m a powerful champion from Winthrop House who cares about you and the future of this planet.  I also care about little animals.  As a freshman, I was forced to leave my ant farm at home because pets are not allowed in Harvard dorms.  My mom hated my ant farm and did not feed them after I left for college. 800 ants starved to death (they weren’t even dangerous red ants).  In order to end discrimination against pets such as ants,  puppies, and gerbils, I have decided to run for president.  I’m a senior, but I have a young running mate: Aneliese Palmer is a freshman girl from Alaska.  She is wonderful. To learn more about the policy positions that we share together, please checkout our additional platform points below.

Renewable Energy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9c6DSC_gy00
As Al Gore said in his speech to the Harvard student body, “Global warming is real.”  It’s real and it’s terrifying.  Imagine a planet that you can’t imagine because it’s destroyed.  That dark thought has given me nightmares for three class-naps in a row.  I have therefore decided to dedicate myself to Green Justice.  I began my crusade several weeks ago when I began holding my roommates accountable for this selfish and destructive behavior.  Now I want to make Green Justice an integral part of my school-wide campaign for a safer planet.  Do you want the planet to survive? Then vote for me.  I propose that we overcome our addiction to Saudi oil and instead use renewable oils such as soybean and corn oil.

Cut tuition costs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDPqy1wQnwg
These hard economic times call for cuts.  Ordinary students should not be forced to pay $47,000 in tuition for classes they rarely attend.  With lending practices changing dramatically, it is crucial that we cut the price of tuition so that everyone can afford it.  I therefore have a plan to reduce the cost of tuition by $6,000 for every student whose parents make less than 2 million dollars a year.  95% of Harvard students will benefit more from my tuition cuts than from my opponents’ non-existent plans.